confession

It has been absurdly cold. I like the cold for the most part. I'd rather shiver than sweat and with that realization running as much as I have been seems like a silly mistake. I'd rather sit in a freezer wearing a T-shirt and shorts. This is all off point.

On my way to the gym I notice I forgot to bring my nalgene. This means I don't have any water to drink. After, during or before my run for today. I would use the drinking fountain at the gym, but there's always a line and next to no water pressure. Meaning the chance of your thirst actually being quenched is nil. That's why I bring a nalgene full of water every time. Fortunately, I see a water bottle rolling around on the floor of my car. It must have been half full of water because there's a block of ice roughly half the size and shape of the bottle in it. It's solid. The only thing is...it's not my water bottle. It's navy blue, holds 750ml, has a top you could clip to a carabiner. But the most notable characteristic, a little spout placed in the top to help drink from it without spilling on yourself in the design of a smiley face. I know it's not mine because I know who it belongs to. A relation of mine. One who took part in the Gobble Wobble around Reed's Lake with me on Thanksgiving. Despite this, I choose to use it and bring it in with me, fill it with water from the fountain and place it in the cup holder attached to the treadmill. This sparks my thoughts....

While I'm running I start to think. I've acquired several items that don't belong to me. Additionally, I use them with some frequency. I'm strategic in using them so the items I like the most I only use when their true owners are not around. Thus eliminating the possibility of being caught and having to return them. This is true primarily for clothes. Going all the way back to an extremely soft cross country shirt from high school I once "borrowed" form a friend. It remains true for other articles of clothing as well: a pair of University of Michigan basketball shorts, a blue long sleeved shirt from structure (also extremely soft). Anyway running looking at this water bottle I came to this realization. I may not have intended to steal these things, I may not have even tried to acquire them (for example this water bottle), but ultimately I've turned into a thief. At some fundamental level I have taken, used and failed to return what's not mine. Thief. Running, looking at this water bottle, the manifestation of my guilt, I try to figure out what to do. Contact those who I owe? Over the top. Too much... Take comfort in the thought that to some extent everyone must do this. We are all thieves...right? Justification. This will only postpone the real issue.... Then it hits me a middle ground....blog about it.

This is my confession. I have your things. If you want them I'll return them. Just know I never intended to keep them this long.


Anti-climatic, I know...